
2000 · Comedy · 30 min
Six best friends talk about all aspects of sex and relationships on their never-ending quest to find true love.
Flushed
Steve Taylor is a charming, efficient man--who can't handle women well, being affected by fears which are only aggravated when he talks to his best mate Jeff, who always manages to say and do the wrong thing and worse.

Size Matters
When Susan calls Steve, he instantly loses all command of conversation, yet they agree to meet and she offers to cook, according to Sally an offer of free sex plus catering. When he tells his mates, they're treated to Jeff's dubious "foreplay tips", such as avoiding at all cost being fully naked except for socks even for a moment; and as the girls enter the bar they overhear another winner. Jane is absurdly confident that her bisexuality makes her eligible for pure gay hunk Howard and switches all labels and concepts potentially implying any homophobia. Sally haughtily rebuffs Patrick, assuring him that she won't ever ever have sex with him--until Susan tells her that his nickname "Donkey" refers not to his mental abilities but to his intimate endowment, which cancels Sally's every prejudice although politically he's her complete opposite. Steve and Susan's evening is burdened by misunderstandings.

Sex, Death & Nudity
Everyone's going to Jane's aunt's funeral--but whose date is whose? The event makes Sally worry that her anti-aging regimen might not ever be "enough". Jeff presents and illustrates his infamous "giggle loop" theory.

Inferno
While tidying up Steve's flat, Susan finds a hot tape we'll just call "Inferno". At a dinner party featuring all the friends, plus Jane's ambiguous guest, Steve is called upon to give a detailed review of the film and, by extension, a defense of the whole male heterosexual psyche. Jane also takes this evening as her opportunity to proclaim her variety of "open" vegetarianism.

The Girl With Two Breasts
Jeff meets and tries to chat up an Israeli girl who doesn't speak English. Meanwhile, Steve and Patrick are inspired to thoughts of a science fiction movie featuring intelligent breasts.

The Cupboard of Patrick's Love
Susan discovers Patrick's video collection--including "her" tape. Before she can ask for his discretion, he's already shown it to Steve, Jeff, and Sally, who hasn't even noticed that Patrick taped over her.

The Man with Two Legs
Jeff is smitten with a woman he's seen on the train. Well, actually, just with her leg as that's all he's seen of her.

My Dinner in Hell
Susan's sexually-frank parents are coming to dinner, and Steve's worried, and seeing a nature TV show with Susan that talks about the need for the male of the species to continue to "enjoy" himself doesn't exactly help. Patrick and Jeff become obsessed with, shall we say, publicity rights. Jane has discovered a talent for identifying people's ideal celebrity friend just by looking at them, and she has a surefire technique for meeting and befriending those celebrities. TV news presenter Mariella Frostrup stars as herself ... though her cellphone seems to be having an identity crisis.

Her Best Friend's Bottom
Steve accidentally sees Sally naked!

The Melty Man Cometh
Sally and Patrick both try to deal with the fact Patrick had some trouble performing "in the sack".

Jane and the Truth Snake
After getting herself fired from her radio job as a traffic reporter, Jane invents a sock puppet named Jake the Snake in preparation to launch a career in children's TV. Jake's honesty, though, could cost Jane her friends. Back at the bar, Patrick has an ingenious plan to dump his girlfriend for rejecting any hope of a threesome, a plan which backfires when she arrives in mid-phone call with the news she's changed her mind.

Gotcha
The ultimate "ticking time bomb" lands on everyone's door: a wedding invitation. Now Steve must answer the ultimate question: Do you have a future, or are you getting married?

Dressed
Patrick needs a pretend-wife to show off to a colleague while Jane has a dinner date. Problem: She's a tad underdressed.

Naked
Jeff meets co-worker Julia and there is a strong mutual interest. Jeff explains his ineptitude at asking women out to Steve and Patrick--while Julia explains her ineptitude at being asked out by men to Susan, Jane, and Sally. Neither the men nor the women are aware of the identity of the love interest.

The End of the Line
A bit of sexy role-playing creates havoc among the friends: who is the sexy Frenchwoman Giselle and the studly Australian Dick Darlington?

Split
Now Steve and Susan have broken up, he has nightmares, willing to give up a lot and beg to get her back. The boys try to comfort him and contemplate weird paths of thought about phoning, sex and lust. Susan won't even admit it to herself but she is just as miserable. Sally nearly convinced Susan to call him, but that doesn't work out. Steve got Jeff to call in his place to see if Susan called him, but the idiot doesn't use his cellphone. In times of despair, each group turns to its temple: the boys to a strip-club, where Jeff remembers pole-dancer Jenny Turbot as a former schoolmate, for drinks and fun; the girls to a beauty parlor, to bag on man- and realize life is even worse without them. Back home drunk after midnight, Steve calls Susan.

Faithless
Jeff tells his mates that he fears that he's caused irreparable disaster just by saying "Hi" to office colleague Wilma Lettings, whose desk gave her the best view on his posterior during a photocopying disaster. This leads to a date with her, although her boyfriend is in Australia and Julia forbids co-workers to know about them. Jane explains "how well" she addressed the religious-program presenter James, whose sexy presence makes her substitute "penis" for "car"; she went to his Bible group posing as a fellow Christian, only in her ruthlessly atheist, rude, promiscuous, and violent way. Jeff's dangerous date is coached by cellphone with two female "feelings translators"--but Julia grabs his.

Unconditional Sex
Jeff's date with Wilma is coached by helpful cues from the friends by phone, but he still makes up absurd lies.

Remember This
Sally's dream causes her to wonder about Patrick's role in her life; she and Patrick face an uncomfortable truth after recounting the night they met.

The Freckle, The Key and the Couple Who Weren't
After a row about Susan's thoughtless inability to tell Steve whether his butt had an old mole or fresh freckles, they join the friends in the pub. Jeff arrives, oblivious he's wearing an SM mask, as Steve drags out of him from playing "Spankman" with Julia, desperate for advice about the use of laxatives to recover jewelry swallowed from his irresistibly naked girlfriend. Back in her apartment, where she's handcuffed and Jeff still clue- and key-less, they freak at a knock she fears to be her parents. It's worse: it's her military ex Joe. Jane reveals more ways to be utterly out-o- touch with the world, especially her patient boyfriend, who later announces that he must spend some months in Germany as a radio-maker. James and Susan discover they knew each other as wild Oxford students.

The Girl With One Heart
When Steve tells that Susan redecorated his bathroom, without a lock, Jeff considers this problem #1: a woman-made hell where no man can ever de-clench again. Sally is toxically jealous when she finds out that Patrick, whom she hypocritically told to go for an open relationship, has a girlfriend, Jennifer- he believed to simplify matters by telling her Sally is a lesbian. Jane is madly in love, at first sight, of a studly pizza delivery man. At a dinner, all the friends and their present significant others meet, in various rooms, ways, and moods--except comfortable. Steve sings the praise of the toilet as modern man's version of a cave of last retreat in face of absurd female interests such as potpourri.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
The girls make a shocking discovery.

9½ Minutes
After a trip to a dating agency, Jane has a blind date with a guy called Oliver. Meanwhile, Patrick and Sally face the first problem in their relationship, and Susan attempts to talk to Steve about the imminent birth of their child.

Nightlines
The friends become entangled in a seemingly-endless phone call as pregnant Susan looks for assurance of sexiness, Sally looks for the meaning of her new relationship with Patrick, and Jane looks for a way to hide now that she's in the wrong ex's apartment.

Bed Time
In reality and fantasy, Sally and Patrick match wits as he seeks to spend the night at home and she looks to entice him to stay over ... again; Oliver accompanies Jane to Sally's dinner party, which features an unexpected musical entertainment.

Circus of the Epidurals
Susan takes Sally to prenatal class to be her back-up in case Steve can't cope; Steve finds himself haunted by the ghost of spanking lesbians past; Jane tries to "out-keen" Oliver.

The Naked Living Room
Is it possible that lifetime loser-in-love Oliver is a good fit for lifetime loser-in-love Jane? Can a man win the heart of a woman when his apartment is "unedited"? What happens to a living room that has lost its battle with magazine nudity?

9½ Months
Susan is in labor, and Steve is now remembering the events of that night; Patrick and Sally are having problems with Patrick's previous relationship with Jane; Oliver is desperate for a night with Jane but is soon interrupted by Steve and Susan.
